


peter parker is.

by hyperfixation_station



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Depressed Peter Parker, Depression, Eating Disorders, Free Verse, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Peter Parker, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Thats not a tag apparently, implied/referenced eating disorder, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 10:27:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27469486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperfixation_station/pseuds/hyperfixation_station
Summary: peter parker is.he knows for a fact that he is.he doesn't know what he is, or why,but he needs it to stop.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 79





	peter parker is.

peter parker is.

he knows for a fact that he is.

he doesn't know what he is, or why,

but he

needs

it

to stop.

\--------

there's a very fine line between okay

and not.

peter parker is not okay.

because every day, he holds himself up through the shit thrown at him

until he doesn't have the energy to prevent himself from tumbling

d  
o  
w  
n

d  
o  
w  
n

_d_   
_o_   
_w_   
_n._

he tends to greet the voice in his head like an old friend - it may as well be, it's been around for as long as he has.

the voice, it tells him things.

peter doesn't like these things.

so he fixes them.

the voice told him he was lazy and fat. he stopped eating.

the voice told him he deserved punishment for being an awful person. he punished himself.

the voice told him he ~~doesn't deserve to live~~.

he's working on that one.

at this point, he doesn't want to get better. sadness is comforting. and of course, as we all know,

sadness is better than ~~numbness~~.

so he allows

himself

to fall.

peter parker is falling.

but, luckily enough for him, there's a very fine line between okay

and not.

so it's simply natural for him to pull his mouth up into a smile

and chuckle every once in a while

because the line between okay

and not

is so fine

that he can pretend to be

_fine_ ,

and not let anyone know that he's spiraling.

peter parker is spiraling.

a hurricane is pulling him in

along with everyone he's loved.

they're a funny disaster, hurricanes are, because

hurricanes don't choose their victims.

they're just destructive mistakes.

hurricanes don't look at kids like peter and classify them as good or bad.

hurricanes graze upon the worthless, unimpactful nobodies like peter

and move on their way

not caring if they deserved it.

and every time peter makes a _destructive mistake_

he's reminded that it's no one's fault but his own.

because hurricanes don't choose their victims.

hurricanes just lead to

the pain

the hurt

the dying.

peter parker is dying.

he knows he's dying when he declines food for the fourth time in a day

he knows he's dying when he pulls a razor over his already plentiful scars

he knows he's dying when he looks in the mirror and lifeless eyes stare back

he knows he's dying.

_s_   
_l_   
_o_   
_w_   
_l_   
_y._

and he has no plans to stop it.

because peter parker is not strong enough.

\--------

~~peter parker~~ was.

he knew for a fact that he was.

he didn't know what he was, or why,

but he

needed

it

to stop.

_it stopped._


End file.
